Wednesday, May 28, 2014



Seriously, what's the deal with those reviews from "official" platforms like ..., ..., ... & Co? I wanted to write something about that for a long time and now, since I am currently watching whatever reviews of Watch Dogs I can gather, I finally found the motivation to write some words about this industrial nonsense. I mean... Who is watching this? - Oops, guilty... let's rephrase: Who gives a shit about those reviews? Not necessarily about the Watch Dogs reviews but about these kind of reviews in general. What is this?

Let me tell you...

It is completely useless. It's nothing more than a summary of what you can do in X game. It shows you the options and game mechanics. Admittedly those reviews are doing a good job with that but in the end it's nothing more than a bad substitute for the long neglected courtesy of putting an instruction manual into the game. Basically those reviews are just extended versions of trailers and gameplay footage that we all have already seen a thousand times. Does making me see the same game mechanic over and over again make that mechanic better? - Or more unique, for that matter? To me all those "industrial" reviews seem to be bought. Honestly! In marketing games it's a lot about unique selling points. These mass produced reviews seem to try making something unique that in fact is not, by mentioning it again and again. And that's basically all they do. Oh, well... and at the end of each review you get a number like 8 of 10. Well that's something really seizable, is it?

Let me tell you also what those reviews lack: They lack an opinion! - And an honest one for starters. How about something like "This game feels soo good", "Wow,... I have played #insert title and this game takes that aspcet to a new level", "I love how the controls respond and how much detail they put into the textures", or "They completely messed up the Auto-Aim functionality", and so on. At no point watching most of these "professional" reviews I feel even a bit addressed as the passionate and playful gamer that I am! If I tell a friend about a game, I can not only tell him all the small but still important details that might even ruin some of the gaming experience, but above all I have an opinion. If something is good, it's good. And if something is shit, it's just that. Those are things that cannot be represented by a number at the end! Honesty, people! And also a lot more insight. - How does it feel? How does it make you feel? If I want see what the game is about and what the mechanics are, I watch a trailer. If I click on a review I want get a damn review and not a biased and extended summary of a trailer!

In conclusion I sincerely doubt those bigger fishes will ever grow some nuts and tell some real opinion without putting lipstick on the pig. They simply can't afford that and they know it. - We know it. A few honest, detailed and real reviews and the publishers probably won't send them anymore free copies of their future games. I assume that's the way the gaming industry works nowadays. It's kind of sad but there's also no need in writing this anymore pretty than it actually is (not).

Again I could torture myself wasting precious time on such reviews and I hope next time I will not again start watching the industrial reviews but instead look out for the more private and honest ones from the beginning. Although I am not too fond of those so called "rants", the truth remains that probably any given guy sitting in front of his webcam in his room, addressing an overall audience of maybe a hundred people, has a more valuable perspective. - Because at least he has a perspective!

Play more! Review more!